An old woman knocks on the clubhouse door.

A biker answers and politely asks, “Can I help you?”

The old woman say, “I want to join your motorcycle club.”

The biker says, “Well it is not that easy. First, do you own and ride a Harley?”

The old woman points at a Duece and says, “That is what I came up here on.”

The biker says, “OK, second, do you drink?”

The old woman says, “I drink Jim Beam for breakfast, Rum and coke for lunch, and guzzle Jack at bedtime!”

The biker says, “OK, how about do you smoke?”

The old woman looks at the biker and says, “I smoke 3 packs of Camels a day, at least 3 joints and finish the evening off with a real good cigar!”

The biker grins and says, “But have you even been picked up by the fuzz?”

The old woman thinks for a minute and says, “No can’t say I have. But I have been swung around by my nipples!”

(Credit to Dan Ripley)

I went into the gas station today and
asked for five dollars worth of gas....

The clerk farted and gave me a receipt.

(credit to Penni Disney)